


Best Kept Secrets

by rainandcoffee



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin’s Magic (Merlin), Kissing, M/M, Monster of the Week, One Shot, POV Merlin (Merlin), Slow Burn, angst and brooding, very slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22104247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainandcoffee/pseuds/rainandcoffee
Summary: When (yet another) evil sorcerer attacks Camelot with her magic, Merlin has to use his magic to save Arthur even with no way to hide it. Arthur is stunned to learn Merlin is a sorcerer but must focus on defeating the evil attacking his kingdom. Merlin doesn't know what this will mean for the future. Although it seems maybe Arthur has been keeping a secret of his own...This is basically a monster-of-the-week story set somewhere in season 3.
Relationships: Arthur/Merlin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 224





	1. The Use of Magic

**Author's Note:**

> This is more of what I wanted in the show. More monster of the week stories, more Arthur getting to see the real Merlin, and let's face it, some Merthur kissing. Also I apologize in advance for typos I've missed, no doubt there are many.

Merlin slammed the door to the cellar. Arthur grabbed one of the wine barrels and rolled it over to barricade the entrance. Merlin attempted to do the same but was unable to move the heavy barrel. He glanced at Arthur, weighing the odds he’d notice if Merlin used magic in this small space. 

Of course he would, it wasn’t even really a question, just an automatic calculation Merlin found himself running over and over again. 

“What are those things?” Arthur asked, as he grabbed the barrel Merlin was holding and pushed it in front of the door. 

Merlin shook his head. “Some kind of magical…. bug.” 

Arthur made a face, though whether his distaste was more for the magical aspect or the bug part, Merlin wasn’t sure. 

Arthur tugged on the door. Satisfied that it was blocked, he collapsed on a shorter barrel in the corner. Merlin listened at the door. No buzzing. They’d lost the bugs. For now. 

“I can’t believe Lady Kiana is a sorcerer,” Arthur leaned against the cellar wall, pain of the betrayal written all over his face. It was a minor one—the Lady had only been in Camelot for less than two days—but clearly it stung Arthur to realize the noble woman who had presented herself as a friend of Camelot had been an enemy. “Did she seem normal to you?” 

Merlin swallowed uneasily and nodded nervously, turning back to focus on the door, as though if he stared hard enough he might be able to see through the wood. 

The truth was, Merlin had been instantly suspicious of Lady Kiana. She’d rode in with a tiny party, claiming to be from some noble family no one had heard of from a distant kingdom. She said she’d been so taken by Camelot’s hard stance against a magic that she had felt compelled to travel here. But if he was honest with himself, it wasn’t her story that had risen Merlin’s hackles. It had been the way she’d beamed at Arthur and caught his attention. 

He’d tried to squash down his jealousy and maybe that was why he’d missed the obvious: she had come to attack. 

Uther had been flattered by the young woman and thrown a great feast in her honor. Tonight at the feast she’d jumped up on the table and exclaimed her hatred for Uther and Camelot before unleashing a swarm of large, magical beetles that attacked the guests. 

Now that they were safe for the moment, Merlin quickly ran through a mental list of who else might be safe. He’d seen Gaius and Gwen escape through a side door. Some of the knights, led by Leon, had attacked Lady Kiana and chased her down the hall. Others had whisked Uther to safety. Not that Merlin cared much if Uther survived this. But he knew Arthur would want the King to be safe and so for his sake, he was glad that Uther had at least made it out of the Great Hall. 

“What now?” Arthur asked. “We can’t just stay in this cupboard.” 

“It’s a cellar,” Merlin said, turning back to Arthur. The prince wore his chainmail and had his sword at his side, but armor and weapons were no good against flesh-eating magical bugs. They attacked in swarms, turning a person to bone in mere minutes. At least two were dead already. 

“I don’t care what the room is called, Merlin, I care about saving my people.” Arthur’s glare was filled with heat, penetrating into him. Sometimes it felt like Arthur was asking him to use his magic, begging him to do so. And yet that wasn’t possible. Arthur didn’t know Merlin possessed the power to stop them. 

Honestly, Merlin wasn’t sure he did either. 

“If the bugs are magic—" 

“Of course they’re magic! You saw her conjure them out of the air!” Arthur’s tone was angry but his face was strained with the hurt of it all. And beneath that, very deep down, was fear. Not for himself, Merlin reasoned, but for the people he had sworn to protect. 

“Gaius might have the answer.” 

Merlin knew he could destroy the bugs with magic, but he didn’t know how to destroy the entire swarm at once and there were hundreds of them. Gaius was good at finding answers. Surely he was working on it right this minute. 

“Then we should go to Gaius.” Arthur stood, decisive, as if they hadn’t just barricaded themselves in. 

“We don’t know where he is,” Merlin said, swallowing the panic that rose in his throat at the thought. He hoped Gaius was back in his chambers cooking up a solution, but he didn’t know. 

Arthur met his eyes. For a long second, they stared at each other. It felt like Arthur could see right through him, his blue eyes intense and strangely full of heat. Uncomfortable, Merlin shook his head. 

Arthur gave a slight smile, one that bordered on a smirk and clapped Merlin on his shoulder. “Don’t be such a coward, Merlin. You’re with Camelot’s greatest fighter.” 

The boast was tinged bravado. Even Merlin could see the doubt pass over the prince’s face like a cloud. Arthur didn’t doubt himself but in the face of giant magical bugs, even the best swordsman would struggle and they both knew it. 

_You’re with Camelot’s greatest sorcerer._

Merlin wanted to say it. Sometimes the words burned in his throat, aching to come out. To see what might happen. What Arthur might do.

Except Merlin knew. He would decide Merlin was a traitor like their lady guest and lock him in the dungeon. Uther would lob off his head. 

Arthur’s forehead creased and he tensed slightly, as if he could hear Merlin’s thoughts. His expression softened and he leaned closer. Merlin’s chest tightened. “We will defeat her and her wicked magic.” 

The lump in Merlin’s throat swelled and he had to swallow it back. He cast his eyes down and nodded. “If you say so.” 

“Trust me, I know what I’m doing.” Arthur began pulling the barrels away from the door. 

Merlin watched him, agony tugging at his heart. Arthur’s hatred of magic was so total, he would never, ever accept Merlin for what he was.

*

They crept out of the cellar, Merlin holding a torch, Arthur with his sword at the ready. The hall was dark and silent. 

They made it all the way down the hall before the buzzing started. Arthur raised his sword. The first of the giant black bugs came flying at them. Arthur pushed Merlin behind him and then attacked. The bug—which was the size of a bat with the body of a green and black beetle—flew at Arthur. His blade cut it down but three more arrived on the tale of their friend. Arthur’s blade downed them all. One after another hit the stone floor with a sickening splat. And then bugs began to melt into a strange, black goo. 

Arthur checked the hall beyond them and then lowered his sword, turning back to look at Merlin, who was bent down, wishing he had a vial to collect the goo in. Gaius would want it. Gaius would know how to turn it against the rest of the swarm and the Lady Kiana. 

“What are you doing?” Arthur sounded exasperated. 

“They melted.” Merlin gestured at the muck. 

“Good. Leave the dead bugs and let’s go.” Arthur’s impatience masked his concern. The palace was too quiet. Not even the warning bells rang. That wasn’t good. 

They got to the end of the corridor and Merlin was just about to ask which direction to go when Arthur stopped and held up a hand. He titled his head, listening.  
Merlin heard it a second later. Loud buzzing like a swarm of bees, only louder. The swarm came bursting around the corner. Arthur pushed Merlin back and Merlin fumbled, nearly dropping the torch. When he looked up again, the swarm had surrounded Arthur like a black fog. He could make out Arthur’s silver chainmail and sword somewhere in the mess. Bugs dropped to the ground but more seemed to swoop in and fill the space. 

“Arthur!” Merlin called. 

The bugs surrounded the prince until he vanished from sight. Panic rose in Merlin’s chest. He strained to see through the black swarm of demonic creatures. He caught small flashes of silver and golden hair and red before more of the bug-things got in the way.

And then Arthur’s sword clattered to the ground. 

The panic made its way to Merlin’s throat and almost came out as a scream. But instead, it came out as a spell. Merlin didn’t even think. Arthur was going to be killed by those flesh-eating things. There was no choice. No decision.

He yelled the spell, his free hand flying in front of him to channel the magic forth. A burst of blue light exploded out from him. The bugs dropped to the ground all at once, a terrible rain of exoskeletons slapping against the stones.

Arthur stood totally still for a long moment. 

The reality of what he’d done came crashing down on Merlin, who immediately wished he could take the spell back. 

Arthur bent down to pick up his sword and then turned slowly, studying the space as if searching for some explanation of what had just happened. 

“That was magic,” Arthur said. His blue eyes burned into Merlin but his expression was blank, unreadable. 

“Maybe someone killed Lady Kiana,” Merlin said. “That might stop them.” 

Arthur’s forehead creased. “No. It was you. I heard you—” 

More buzzing echoed down the hall. Arthur didn’t hesitate. He rushed back the way they’d come and Merlin followed. They darted back into the cellar and slammed the door. Arthur had barrels blocking it in seconds. 

They waited in heavy silence as the buzzing got closer. Several of the beetles slammed against the cellar door. The wood creaked but didn’t give. Merlin let out a breath. 

How many of those things were there? What kind of magic did Lady Kiana have that she could summon thousands of those things from some dangerous realm?  
Arthur did not sit this time. He stood, hand on the hilt of his sword, gaze trained on Merlin. As if Merlin might attack.  
Merlin’s heart sank. 

“You used magic.” It wasn’t a question. Arthur’s expression turned stoney and Merlin’s stomach churned. There was a gash on his cheek from where one of the bugs had gotten to him, and tiny cuts all over his hands and forehead. If they’d had much longer…

Merlin shook his head at the thought. 

“Don’t lie to me.” The words were so cold, so harsh. Merlin wanted to vomit. 

“I saved you,” he said weakly, turning away, unable to look at Arthur any longer. 

“You’re a sorcerer. _You._ ” Arthur said it like he didn’t quite believe it. His bumbling servant, the guy he thought spent too much time at the tavern and shirking his duties, hiding magic. “All this time, you’ve had magic.” 

“I’ve used it for you. To save you,” Merlin said, his voice shaking. He glanced up at Arthur but nothing had changed. The prince looked furious, his eyes burning, jaw tight, lips pressed together in a thin line. 

It was his worst fear come to pass. Arthur knew his secret and now he hated him for it. 

*

After about half an hour, Arthur had finally taken a seat on squat barrel and let his hand drift away from his sword but when Merlin had taken a step toward him, he’d practically jumped to his feet. Merlin had retreated to the opposite corner, near the door, and sat on a barrel of his own. 

The buzzing outside was constant. Merlin wondered how many of the others were holed up in rooms like this, barely keeping the monstrous bugs at bay. He didn’t even want to think how many weren’t so lucky. 

He shot a fugitive glance at Arthur, who was still staring at him, expression hard. He quickly averted his eyes, but not before seeing the wound on his face was still bleeding. The gash was deep. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Arthur demanded. 

Merlin shook his head again, unable to form words. How could he explain the agonizing loneliness of keeping it secret? Of how many times he’d used magic so close to Arthur and the others and worried someone had seen or heard, part of him secretly wishing they would so he’d no longer have to hide it? 

“Sorcery is illegal,” Arthur said, mostly to himself. It was a stupid thing to say and Merlin finally shot him a dark look for it. “Using magic in Camelot is forbidden.” 

The lump in Merlin’s throat grew. “I know.” 

He felt nauseated. When they got out of this cellar and finally brought down this woman who was tormenting the kingdom with her magic, Merlin would be strung up for trying to stop her. It wasn’t fair. But he’d known the risks. Looking at the cuts on Arthur's face, he knew he’d do it again, that was the worst part. 

“How can you be so cavalier about this?” Arthur demanded. Several more thuds against the door meant the bugs had heard. He lowered his voice. “If my father finds out, he will show no mercy.” 

Merlin started to reply, though he didn’t know what to say. 

More thuds. The door banged against the barrels, opening a tiny bit. Arthur jumped up and pushed another barrel against the two fortifying the door. And then he stood there, only feet away from Merlin. His face had softened and now it wasn’t anger that warped his features, but confusion and hurt. 

Merlin had to explain. To make him understand. He could face the consequences of his actions, unfair though they were, but he couldn’t bear to have Arthur despise him for it. 

“Will you turn me in?” he asked. 

Arthur looked as pained as he had when Kiana had betrayed them. No, more so. He looked positively tortured and that squeezed Merlin’s heart like a vice. He opened his mouth but then changed his mind and clamped it shut. 

“I was born with magic, Arthur,” Merlin said, desperate to make him see. He forced himself to look into those blue eyes, to hold his gaze. “I use it for the good of Camelot.” 

It was Arthur’s turn to look away. He went back to his corner and dropped onto the barrel. He didn’t speak for a long time. They sat in silence as the buzzing continued outside. Merlin turned his attention to the door which occasionally wiggled as more of the bugs slammed against the wood. 

He could stop them. He could use his magic to destroy the bugs and make this stop. Why not? Arthur already knew. Soon the whole kingdom would know. Why not use his magic to end this nightmare? 

He stole a look at Arthur, who was still staring stonily at the wall behind Merlin, as if he couldn’t quite bear to look at him but also didn’t dare look away. Blood from the gash on his cheek dripped down his chin.

“I can heal that for you,” Merlin said softly. 

Arthur recoiled. 

Merlin’s stomach roiled. He stood. He couldn’t stay here. 

The buzzing outside remained constant and loud but he could destroy those monstrous things, get to Gaius, and stop Lady Kiana. 

“How many times?” Arthur finally asked, jarring Merlin from his thoughts. 

“What?” 

“How many times have you used magic?” Arthur’s face was pensive now. 

Merlin shrugged. “Does it matter? Once is all it takes to condemn a man here in Camelot.” 

Arthur’s eyes narrowed. Clearly, that was the wrong tack. 

The bugs slammed against the door furiously. Merlin, annoyed, shouted a spell sent a burst of magic through the door. A rain of thuds hit the ground outside.

He could feel Arthur’s stare like a hot metal poker in his back. He did his best to ignore it and used another spell to send the barrels blocking the door gliding out of the way. 

“Where are you going?” Arthur demanded, already on his feet and hand at his hilt. To stop Merlin or to help? Merlin swallowed back a lump in his throat. 

“To stop Lady Kiana and end this.” He glanced back at Arthur. “And then to pack my things, I suppose.” 

He opened the door and stepped around the gooey dead bugs on the stones. 

“Merlin, stop!” Arthur commanded.

Merlin ignored him.


	2. No More Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Arthur try to stop the evil sorceress and Arthur tries to come to terms with Merlin's magic. And his own feelings.

Two guards lay dead outside the throne room. The bugs had eaten their faces down their skulls and Merlin had to swallow back vomit. Gaius often told Merlin stories of sorcerers who’d used very dark magic but this was vile. He could understand the anger and pain that caused magic-users to lash out at Camelot but he could never understand their methods, especially when they were this indiscriminately evil. 

He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and raised his hand, ready to throw magic. Arthur stepped around the corner. He opened his mouth to say something and then shut it again, attention falling on the dead. 

“Magic did that to them,” he said sternly. 

Merlin ignored him. He pressed his ear to the throne room door. It was silent. He nodded at Arthur, who raised his sword and nodded back. 

Merlin opened the door and Arthur ran through first, sword at the ready. The room was empty and cold. 

No, not quite empty. 

Uther sat on his throne, alone. The sight of him surprised Merlin, who stumbled backward. He recovered and went for the doors, shutting them quickly so as not to attract any beetles. 

“Arthur, you’re alive.” Usher’s relief was palpable. 

“Where is everyone?” Arthur demanded.

“The knights went chasing after that ruthless villain. I cannot believe I trusted another sorcerer who would use my hospitality against me!” Uther seethed, clenching his fists. 

Arthur glanced sidelong at Merlin and then immediately straightened his gaze. The air seemed to be sucked out of his lungs and Merlin struggled to breathe.

“What’s the word?” Uther asked. “Why aren’t the warning bells ringing?” 

“I don’t know, Father,” Arthur said. “We escaped a swarm of those bugs and were hoping to catch up with the knights. Merlin—”

Merlin winced at the sound of his name. 

“—thinks Gaius might have a way to stop this.” 

“Yes, of course,” Uther said. He was staring behind them at nothing, distracted and strange. Merlin wondered if it was part of some spell or if the King was merely on the verge of losing it. He'd seemed more and more unhinged lately. “Go to him. See what can be done!” 

Arthur hesitated. Merlin held this breath. 

“What about you?” Arthur asked. 

“I’m fine. The knights will return. And I can protect myself.” 

Arthur frowned deeply and glanced at Merlin for his opinion, momentarily forgetting that Merlin was now an enemy also. Merlin let out his breath, his lungs burning. But then Arthur remembered and turned away sharply. 

“Fine. Barricade the doors and stay quiet.” Arthur turned and headed for the doors. 

Merlin followed, relief warring with the energy buzzing in his veins. 

“You didn’t tell him,” Merlin said. 

Arthur glared at him hotly. “Not now, Merlin. We have an invader to catch and stop.” 

Merlin nodded, fighting a small smile. Now was not the time. And Arthur may yet reveal his secret. He may yet decide Merlin was no better than the Lady Kiana they were off to fight. Perhaps he already had and was simply waiting because he knew they might need Merlin’s magic to win. 

*

They fought through a small swarm of beetles at the palace doors and then crossed the courtyard without incident, stepping around a few bodies and black splotches on the stones where bugs had fallen to their deaths. 

Merlin pushed on the door to Gaius and his chambers and it wouldn’t budge. “Gaius! It’s me!” he whisper-yelled. 

He heard the sound of furniture scrapping against the floor and the door opened. Gwen stood there in a red dress, her hair messy and flying in all directions. She hugged Merlin and then Arthur, while Gaius called for them to hurry in and close the door.

“Gaius, how do we stop those things?” Arthur asked, wasting no time. 

Gaius and Gwen exchanged a look. Gaius seemed reluctant to share. Merlin knew how heavily Gaius had to weigh each reveal of how much he knew about magic to Uther and his men. Even though Uther knew of Gaius’ past, every admission seemed a risk, a chance that this time Uther would decide Gaius was one of the bad guys. 

“Gaius, what is it?” Merlin pressed. 

Gaius shot a look at Arthur and then opened the book in front of him. A diagram showed an image of the very beetles they’d been fighting. 

“I’m afraid the Lady Kiana has summoned Mortis Beetles from the realm of the dead,” Gaius said. “No doubt Lady Kiana has sold part of her soul to gain access to them. Controlling them requires the use of very dark and evil magic.” 

“Is there any other kind?” Arthur grunted. 

Gaius raised his head sharply in surprise and then turned to Merlin for an explanation. Merlin gave a slight shrug. The last thing he needed was for Gaius to scream at him for being careless and letting Arthur learn his secret. Besides, he didn’t want Gaius to worry. 

He would defeat this sorcerer and then… he didn’t know. His destiny was tied to Arthur. Maybe that meant it ended here. 

“There is good magic in the world, sire,” Gaius finally said. “There are two sides to every coin.” 

“So how can this woman be stopped?” Gwen asked. 

Gaius cast his gaze down and then produced a dagger from his work table. “This dagger has been…treated to help undo the spell. It must be thrust into her heart. That will send the mortis beetles back where they came from and end whatever bargain she’s struck with those in the realm of the dead.” 

Arthur made a face. “Treated how?” 

“With magic,” Merlin said, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “That’s how you defeat magic. With more magic.” 

Gaius’ eyes widened so far Merlin thought they might pop of his skull. “It is not…” 

“It’s just a tincture,” Gwen said quickly. “Gaius used some herbs and things.” 

Arthur still wouldn’t take the dagger so Merlin took it, careful to sheath it and put it on his belt. Gaius was shooting warning daggers at Merlin with his eyes and Merlin ignored him. He was so tired of pretending that they lucked in beating all these evil sorcerers with pluck and timing and swords. Of course it was magic. Maybe Uther couldn’t know it, but Arthur should. 

Without a word, he turned to leave and hunt down Lady Kiana. 

“Merlin, be careful,” Gaius called. “This woman has access to the realm of the dead. She may yet have more tricks up her sleeve.” 

“I will.” 

He left, Arthur on his heels, silent and brooding but still there. 

*

The beetles had thinned in ranks, at least in the this wing of the palace. Arthur struck two down with his sword. A group of knights, led by Leon, came bounding around the corner. All of them were covered in nicks and cuts but appeared otherwise unscathed. Leon stopped, relief plain as he saw them. 

“We chased her up to the east tower, sire,” Leon said, panting. “But there are too many of those… things in the stairwell. We can’t get to her.” 

“You did well,” Arthur said. “Go protect the King in the throne room. Merlin and I have a plan.” 

Leon frowned. He looked from Merlin to Arthur and back as if waiting for one of them to elaborate on what that plan might be. Neither of them did, so Leon, who had learned better than to ask, simply nodded, gave a slight bow, and led the knights back to the throne room. 

“What is our plan, exactly?” Merlin asked.

“Fight the evil sorcerer and win,” Arthur said, with absolute confidence. He had zero doubt they would do exactly that.

And they both knew doing so meant Merlin using magic. Not just the enchanted dagger, but his own magic. 

The lump formed in Merlin’s throat again and he swallowed it back. “Maybe you should go with them. I can do this alone.” 

Arthur snorted, a slight smirk on his lips. “You’re suggesting you go alone, Merlin? You? That’s the most idiotic thing you’ve ever suggested, and you once suggested I make my own bed.” 

Warmth radiated through Merlin’s middle, melting some of the ice that had formed there. It was so familiar, so normal… 

“I will have to use magic,” he said. 

Arthur’s expression hardened again. “We have to protect the people of Camelot at all costs.” 

With that, the prince headed for the tower. Merlin followed as emotions warred in his gut.

When they reached the tower, the door was open. A single beetle flew at them and Arthur struck it down almost effortlessly. 

Inside the stairwell, buzzing and flapping echoed down from somewhere above but no beetles could be seen. Merlin grabbed a torch and they headed up. 

“Why our side?” Arthur whispered. “Why don’t you join the other sorcerers and attack us?” 

Merlin almost laughed. “Not all sorcerers are the same. I’m not evil. Most people with magic aren’t.” 

Arthur shot him a look that made it plain he thought that was idiotic. 

“I only use my magic to protect you, Arthur. I’m only on your side. Always have been.” 

Arthur shifted uncomfortably and turned his attention to climbing. 

This tower had two rooms at the top, one on either side. When they reached the top, Merlin looked up and gasped. The ceiling of the hall between the rooms was black and shiny and moving. Beetles crawled and flapped around the ceiling so thickly they looked like moving stones. 

Arthur made a soft sound of disgust. 

A laugh rang out. 

“Here he is, the Crown Prince of Camelot!” Lady Kiana emerged from the room on the right, beaming. Her blue satin dress glittered and her dark hair was still neatly done. Her escape to the tower hadn’t put much strain on her. “I will revel in your death as you have reveled in the deaths of my family.”

“I never met your family.” Arthur drew his sword. “And I do not revel in death.” 

She cackled and then glanced at Merlin. 

“You brought a poor servant boy to witness your demise.” She smiled. “Or perhaps you’d hoped to throw him to the wolves. Well, either way, you shall both perish.” 

She yelled a word Merlin didn’t recognize and goosebumps erupted on his skin as the tower’s narrow hall filled with magic. Beetles dropped from the ceiling.   
One tore a gash in Merlin’s hand. Arthur swung his sword, dropping several to the ground, but more seemed to fly down and take their places. 

Merlin gathered his magic and shouted a spell. Blue light burst forth. Several dozen of the beetles dropped. He did it again and another dozen hit the ground. Kiana screeched in annoyance but more beetles flew down. There were hundreds of them, swirling around, cutting Merlin’s cheeks and hands. He did the spell again and felled more but it was no use. There were too many.

Arthur grabbed Merlin and yanked him into the other room, slamming the door. One beetle got in and Merlin used a spell to drop it, while Arthur held the door shut. Beetles slammed into the wood, shaking the door. Merlin joined Arthur in holding it closed. 

“That didn’t go to exactly to plan,” Merlin said. 

“Why can’t you kill all those things?” 

Merlin shook his head. There were so many. For all he knew, she was summoning more even now. 

Arthur turned so his back was against the door and slid down to the floor. Merlin did the same, sitting only inches from Arthur. He had more gashes and cuts on his face. Merlin’s own face and hands stung with the wounds from the beetles. 

“Let me heal you,” he said. 

Arthur froze. He didn’t move or speak. But he didn’t argue or recoil this time, either. Merlin turned sideways, keeping his weight against the door, and reached out. Arthur still didn’t move. 

Merlin’s fingers brushed against Arthur’s cheek. Arthur’s lips parted, releasing a small sigh.

The vice around Merlin’s heart eased as warmth washed over him. He said the spell softly, breathing it out like wish, and ran his fingers over Arthur’s skin. The cuts and gashes knit themselves back together. 

Arthur’s breath turned ragged and he met Merlin’s eyes. “I considered you a friend,” he said. “I trusted you.” 

Merlin felt slapped. He swallowed and leaned back, tears pricking at his eyes. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Arthur asked again.

Merlin forced himself to meet Arthur’s eyes, deep like blue pools. “I wanted to. So many times. But I—” He shook his head. How could he explain how desperately he’d wanted Arthur to see him for what he was? How even as he tried to hide his powers, there was always a tiny part of him hoping Arthur might see or hear, might discover the truth. Might really see him as more than some incompetent servant. 

“You’ve used magic to save me before,” he said. It wasn’t a question.

“Yes. And your father, and Gwen, and the knights…” Merlin trailed off.

Arthur frowned deeply, no doubt remembering any number of times the odds in a fight had mysteriously swung their way. Branches knocking enemies from horses, trees falling on bandits, swords flying out of hands before striking killing blows. 

“All those times you acted scared or terrified like a quaking tree…” 

“I was scared,” Merlin said. “I was scared for you. For the knights. For everyone. I didn’t know if I could protect you without revealing the truth.” 

“And yet you did it, time and again, risking discovery.” Arthur made it sound like the stupidest thing Merlin could have done. He sounded a lot like Gaius, actually. “You could be killed.” 

“I know,” Merlin said flatly.

Another barrage of beetles slammed against the door, pushing Merlin sideways. He quickly moved back to the door and this time, he found himself right next to Arthur, their sides touching. 

Arthur cleared his throat. “There will be no more secrets between us. You are my servant. You must tell me the truth. That’s an order.” 

“I don’t have any more secrets.” 

Arthur’s expression shifted and Merlin struggled to read it. He almost looked disappointed. But that didn’t make any sense. What else did he expect Merlin to be hiding? 

“Well, there is one secret. I still think you’re a royal prat.” 

Arthur smiled. It was fleeting but it was there, and Merlin’s heart swelled. 

“And I think you’re the most useless servant to ever work in Camelot. I had to find my own boots this morning.” 

Merlin smiled back at him, unable to help himself. He leaned closer and then Arthur did something strange. He reached over and touched Merlin’s face. His skin tingled where Arthur’s fingers brushed over it. “You haven’t healed yourself.” 

“Oh.” Merlin hadn’t really thought about it. He would heal faster than Arthur but he waved his hand over his face and let the gashes close. 

Arthur didn’t move his hand away. Instead, he shifted sideways and leaned even closer. His eyes seemed to be trying to say something but Merlin didn’t know what. 

“Arthur.” Merlin’s voice came out raw, low.

“I have a secret of my own.” Arthur got on his knees so he could lean forward without letting the door open and inched closer still. Merlin’s throat felt dry. Arthur’s lips pressed against his. 

Merlin gasped but kissed him back, his hand immediately going to the back of Arthur’s neck as he leaned into the kiss. His other hand ran through Arthur’s golden hair, tugging at him, willing him closer. Light exploded inside Merlin. It was the last thing he’d expected Arthur to do but now he didn’t want it to stop. 

He heard Kiana shout a spell and the door above them burst into splinters. Arthur pulled away, expression immediately serious again. Merlin jumped up. Arthur did the same, grabbing for his sword. 

He held out his other hand and nodded at Merlin’s belt. For a moment, Merlin felt heat rise in his cheeks and he started to say something about terrible timing, but then he realized Arthur was gesturing for the dagger. Merlin handed it over and then shouted a spell to kill more of the beetles. 

“Who’d have guessed? Prince Arthur has his own magician.” Lady Kiana spit on the ground. “What a hypocrite. I bet Uther has his own magician, as well.” 

“Things are changing,” Merlin said. He shouted another spell as more beetles flew at them. Arthur fought a few of them and tried to move sideways, while Merlin drew the lady’s attention. “Arthur knows magic can be good, but Uther will never accept that if people like you keep using it this way.” 

Lady Kiana laughed, the sound high-pitched and mirthless. “You really think any Pendragon will allow magic to thrive? They will use you up and discard you when they’re done.” 

“You’re wrong. It’s thanks to you and this attack that Arthur knows I have magic and he’s accepted it.” Merlin dared only the briefest glance at Arthur, who was creeping around to get behind her. “He will be a champion for those who use magic for good.” 

Lady Kiana laughed again, shaking her head. “What a fool you are! He will destroy all of us.” She gestured and the flock of beetles still on the ceiling came racing downward. 

Merlin gathered as much magic as he could muster and shouted his spell so loudly it echoed against the stones. Magic burst forth, more powerful than even Merlin had expected, and all of the beetles fell lifeless to the ground. Lady Kiana shrieked. She raised her hand, maybe to throw a spell or conjure more of the mortis beetles, but she didn’t get the chance. 

Arthur plunged the dagger into her back, aiming for her heart. The tip of the dagger burst through her chest. She looked down in shock, smiled wickedly, and started to say that a dagger couldn’t kill her. Then she coughed, spewing blood. Her eyes widened. 

“I curse you, Arthur Pendragon!” She chanted some words and magic swirled around her. And then Lady Kiana fell to the ground. 

A second later, so did Arthur. 

Merlin screamed and rushed to his side. 

“Arthur. Arthur!” 

Arthur’s eyes fluttered open. He squinted and then his whole face scrunched up in confusion. “Merlin? What am I doing on the ground? Where are we?”   
Merlin let out a sigh of relief.

“We just defeated the Lady Kiana,” Merlin said, helping Arthur sit up. “It’s over. She dead.” 

Arthur looked from Merlin to Kiana, his lip curled in upward in confusion. “Who?” 

A cold ache radiated through Merlin. “The woman who unleashed an army of mortis beetles on the palace.” 

Arthur’s frown deepened. He got to his feet and then stared down at the body of a woman he clearly didn’t recognize. “I must have hit my head. I don’t remember anything since breakfast. Who is that woman?” 

Merlin swallowed back frustration. This was good. Arthur did not know his secret. Another vice squeezed his insides. Or that Merlin knew Arthur’s secret… or that they’d kissed. 

Surely it was for the best. 

“Breakfast yesterday if you don’t recognize her,” Merlin said, trying to keep his composure as Arthur leaned on Merlin. “You don’t remember anything?” 

Arthur considered and met Merlin’s eyes. Something danced in them. Recognition? Regret? Desire? Merlin couldn’t tell. And then Arthur said, “No. Not a thing. Strange.” He touched his lips idly, as if not realizing he was doing it, and then shot Merlin a pointed look that dripped with meaning. 

Again, it was like the prince thought he was psychic and could read his thoughts, which of course he couldn’t. “What is it?” Merlin asked, half-panicked, half-hoping. 

“Good work, Merlin. We’ve stopped yet another threat to Camelot.” He clapped Merlin on the shoulder, his hand squeezing a little harder than normal. “Let us go tell the others and start the clean up. We can celebrate tonight.” 

Merlin stared at him. He wanted to kiss Arthur again, to pull him close, to make Arthur remember. They stared at each other for a little too long. Finally, Arthur looked away. “Shame I don’t remember it." 

He turned and headed down the stairs. Merlin cleared his throat, feeling strangely unsteady. 

“Merlin! Come on! There’s nothing left to be scared of,” Arthur called. 

Merlin muttered, “You don’t know that, you clot pole.” 

“I heard that.”

Merlin smiled to himself, and then, grabbing the dagger in case it still had any sign of its magic, followed Arthur down the stairs.


End file.
